Grammar Goddess Seminars

Taught “Advanced Secretarial Skills” and “Maintaining Emotional Control” in

• Auckland
• Christchurch
• Wellington

I had no idea New Zealand was so perfect. You can see the entire country (east to west) while flying north or south — no point, so I was told, is more than 70 miles from an ocean. And the country comprises three islands, not two: North Island, South Island, and Stewart Island. Northland is a province in the North Island, not the name of the northern-most island.

Southland is a province in the deep south of the South Island; why they named the middle of the three islands the “South” island is apparently a puzzle. In Maori mythology, the South Island is meant to represent the canoe that Maui used to fish the sea from the North Island; hence the Maori name for the North Island is “Te Ika a Maui” (the fish of Maui).

Stewart Island, the third island, is meant to represent the canoe’s anchor.

Yes, there really are more sheep than people. Yes, the country’s unspoiled. Yes, it’s beautiful. Yes, Air New Zealand serves a full breakfast on the flight between Christchurch and Wellington (a 30-minute flight, if that), including tea and coffee in old-fashioned-looking silver pots. No, I don’t know how they do it. Probably with mirrors. All I know is — it’s terrific!

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the uniforms of the flight attendants! And the care they lavish on you. And the accent. I fell in love when they first said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls.” I’d go anywhere on Air New Zealand — preferably, back to New Zealand!

Taught “Business Writing,” “Powerful Presentations,” “Time Management,” and “Interpersonal Communication Skills” in

• Cape Town
• Durban
• Johannesburg
• Port Elizabeth
• Pretoria

I ate boboti and ostrich, toured the wine country outside Cape Town, took pictures of Table Mountain, and marveled at the sunsets. I was privileged to see the house where Nelson Mandela lived and the former prison where he was incarcerated. Several warm and wonderful people gave luncheons for me and took me out to dinner. I saw the ocean, the mountains, and the deserts. I heard lions roar. I marveled at the different plants, notably protea! Amazing country. Amazing people. Amazing experience!

I would go back in a heartbeat.

Taught “Advanced Secretarial Skills” and “Maintaining Emotional Control” in

• Hobart
• Melbourne
• Paraburdoo

In Oz, I learned about tall poppies, the outback, and vast open spaces. Do you know how huge Australia is? I sure didn’t! I found that out when I said I’d make a quick hop between Melbourne and Perth for a one-day project (think Florida to California, and you’re close).

However, as it turned out, that part of my trip gave me the most intense memories: I ended up in a small town called Paraburdoo, northeast of Perth, where I rode in a monster earth mover and toured a strip mine while wearing a white coverall the locals called a “sperm suit.” Uh huh. Quite a sense of humor those Ozzis have!

Why isn’t Australia closer to this coast?